The hierarchy of charge (linguistic: annoyed vs F**KING HELL)

There’s a hierarchy of emotional charges within us.


Think of it as a barometer of your perceptions (or misperceptions) of the world around you.

Sad, depressed, despondent.

Annoyed, pissed off, f**king hell.

Dislike, despise, hate.

Grumpy, annoyed, angry.

Glad, happy, excited.

Like, infatuated, …

You get the picture.

Let’s unchecked and unresolved can build up inside that become bigger than Ben-Hur (yes, I was dragged to watch this epic movie at the Astor Theatre in Melbourne as a child).

Then, week in week out, month in month out, year in year out we are building charges that are mounting on top of us, building inside and we become like a landmine waiting to explode.

Your tolerance levels become less, your ability to manage yourself decreases, and when someone says “Hey, you didn’t (insert unloved statement here)’ and all the unloved baggage comes exploding to the surfaces AND comes down on them like a ton of bricks.

Do you know what I mean?!

Charges build up because of the stories we tell ourselves (great article on stories from a Professor of Sociology here. The punchline: we tell somewhat different stories to different people).

What is a typical story you tell yourself when you feel overwhelmed? ‘I'll never get this done!’ ‘I can't do this anymore!’ ‘This is too much to handle.’ Then you’re told to spend more time doing something you don’t understand and you’re told it's essential to the make or break of your business, and bam - overwhelm moves to meltdown.

Or when you’re upset with your spouse because they aren’t prioritizing your relationship, they have shut down and are uncommunicative then they don’t put the bin liner in property and you put the kids leftover food in the bin and it falls off - and bam just pissed off is now f**king hell.

The interesting part about these stories is that they are just thoughts and thoughts are perceptions - and our perceptions are misperceptions. And thank god we have feelings because they are our best feedback mechanism to inform us of how off centre we are about the world around and within us.

If you think that it’s not possible to transform dynamics, people, experiences and your feelings, then this my friends is a time to step back. Its time to reflect and stop pushing those uncomfortable feelings down, saying ‘I’ll deal with it later' or just plain ignoring them.

Remember that emotions cost.

  • When you’re sad, that has a ripple effect to how you show up in business and influences potential clients or customers

  • When you’re infatuated with a new client, it can attract resentment towards another old client

  • When you’re beating yourself down for a financial ‘mistake’ and you’re head isn't in work, you struggle with strategic planning and setting inspiring goals

And repressed emotions cost in life, it can affect not only your mind but your body too.

What is even more beautiful is that emotions are revealing of your inner world thinking.

  • Anger: an unmet unrealistic expectation

  • Excitement: seeing one side, all the positives and being blind to the downside

  • Jealousy: the perception that someone else has something you aren't perceiving within yourself

  • Hurt: judgment of someone’s actions that then causes you to feel hurt

  • Depressed: comparing your past/someone else's life and yours don’t match the ideal

I could go on. Your feelings are feedback to give you a glimpse into the psyche of your mind.

And if you don't make conscious choices to balance your misperceptions, then someone else will have to do it for you (that is, when you’re not dealing with issues, expect the world to force you to deal with them. #lovinguniverse).

The thing that makes a difference in how we feel or what happens is the quality of our questions and the quality of our answers. Asking quality questions helps to shift your perspective to get you back into balance, and you’ll be more governed by how you choose to react with them.

Life is for you to decide.

And life can be transformed with just one question. Feelings can fade (and completely dissolve) with a handful of meaningful answers.

We too often forget we are the captain of our soul and the master of our destiny. And that small effort done consistently is where we see massive results.

So what if you did the small repeated efforts of answering one quality question every day to dissolve a dynamic and have more gratitude to help you reset and get back on track to growing your business, leadership and life?

Kind of like thinking if you go to the gym once a year, it will get you a rocking hot body?!

I think not.

Then how to be self-governed, dissolving emotions if we don’t practice it every week?

That’s wanting the results with the work that wasn't done (#realityslap).

Or it is expecting (unrealistically mind you) that people ‘should’ be kinder, more understanding, do what you ask the first time.

One of the objectives at Maximum Growth is to learn to apply the Demartini Method to dissolve emotions and get you back on track again (not to mention getting you a serious ROI on your self-education).

And that is why we have weekly classes for you, so week in week out, month in, month out, to change your questions, change your answers, and change your life. Click on the link to find out more (and if you’re already in the community - keep up the great (inner) work).

You see, I envision a world in which leaders growing themselves to grow their business, who are embracing inspiring challenges that serve humanity, and managing greater levels of accountability and responsibility, where leaders continually level up.

And that’s about changing the mental monologue in your mind, dealing with the hierarchy of emotional charge within us.

Come and get a boss level mind makeover in class.


With love and gratitude,


Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth: One on One and Group Coaching Available

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