Are you depriving yourself?

Updated: Mar 28

Are you depriving yourself?


Deprivation comes in different forms.

Maybe it’s not focusing on what you do have, instead, a constant focus on what you don’t have.

Maybe it’s not allowing yourself to feel “positive” emotions (because God forbid you were to be above equilibrium and come crashing down).

Or maybe it’s putting yourself in a dynamic with another couple when you like one “more than friends” and then depriving yourself of ‘love’ because you can’t be with them (that’s what we cleared in our Maximum Growth class this week).

Deprivation is real. And it costs.

Not just financially, but the light in your soul.

And that light is not as bright to shine your service to the world.

It’s lowering your value.

It’s minimising your magnificence.

It is critical to recognize when this self-deprivation state is happening for change to occur. As we know, awareness is the key to change.

Here are the 4 D’s of depreciation to help you become aware of these moments.

  • Disappointment: You set yourself up for disappointment and a sense of “you’re just not enough.” One client was depriving themselves of food because they're afraid to put on weight. They had entangled in their mind that they would only deserve to be in a relationship if they were a particular size, and therefore unlovable any bigger, therefore living in the disappointment cycle of depreciation.

  • Devaluing: You minimise yourself relative to others and think “others get what they want, and not me.” One client deprived themselves of clients because they didn’t think they deserved to coach clients and devalued themselves relative to others, repelling clients away, spinning them into a devaluing cycle of depreciation.

  • Deflection: You're not appreciating the things that you have in your life. Deflecting it (and all its juju away). A client deflected any compliments, any praise that came their way, and didn't feel deserving of it. Instead, they are self-critical, and in a deflection cycle of depreciation.

  • Disowning: You're not seeing the power that is within you to manifest and create what it is you say you want. The member of class this week chose to open their heart to someone who wasn’t available nor interested (got to look at people's actions, not what they say and this guy wants a baby with someone else). Therefore, they’re disowning the power within them to create a new relationship they’d love and is in the disowning cycle of depreciation

So why do we have moments in this state? It's not sexy, it's not empowering, it's not getting us where we would love to be, so why do we do it?

It’s a source of attachment.

Attachments are not a conscious choice, but an unwitting set-up that lands you in that old, familiar place where it feels familiar.

Deprivation is repeated in different aspects of life. Over the years you learn to tolerate it, come to expect it, and even, yes, I’m going to say, even prefer deprivation in some strange, familiar way, like a comfy blanket.

Over time, there becomes a tipping point at which you don't want to do the same behaviour anymore. And when that happens, remember this:

Energy goes where your attention and focus flows.

Once you know what’s driving your self-deprivation actions, once you’ve become aware of when you’re in a self-deprivation state, once you have cleared your charges (come to Maximum Growth classes to get some maximum guidance), then put attention and focus on what you truly want.

Here's to having more juju flow to you and through you,

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

P.S. Want a little pick me up around your meaning and purpose, to then help with getting what you want, then watch the replay of our hot session The Conversation here.

P.P.S. Feeling like you don’t want to be in this repeated self-deprivation cycle anymore and looking for a change? The Power Workshop was created to help people have a life reboot, to reconnect with your body, mind and soul, to believe in yourself and the power you have within to create an amazing life AND actually start doing it. To read more, click here.

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Deprivation comes in different forms.

Maybe it’s not focusing on what you do have, instead, a constant focus on what you don’t have.

Maybe it’s not allowing yourself to feel “positive” emotions (because God forbid you were to be above equilibrium and come crashing down).

Or maybe it’s putting yourself in a dynamic with another couple when you like one “more than friends” and then depriving yourself of ‘love’ because you can’t be with them (that’s what we cleared in our Maximum Growth class this week).

Deprivation is real. And it costs.

Not just financially, but the light in your soul.

And that light is not as bright to shine your service to the world.

It’s lowering your value.

It’s minimising your magnificence.

It is critical to recognize when this self-deprivation state is happening for change to occur. As we know, awareness is the key to change.

Here are the 4 D’s of depreciation to help you become aware of these moments.

  • Disappointment: You set yourself up for disappointment and a sense of “you’re just not enough.” One client was depriving themselves of food because they're afraid to put on weight. They had entangled in their mind that they would only deserve to be in a relationship if they were a particular size, and therefore unlovable any bigger, therefore living in the disappointment cycle of depreciation.

  • Devaluing: You minimise yourself relative to others and think “others get what they want, and not me.” One client deprived themselves of clients because they didn’t think they deserved to coach clients and devalued themselves relative to others, repelling clients away, spinning them into a devaluing cycle of depreciation.

  • Deflection: You're not appreciating the things that you have in your life. Deflecting it (and all its juju away). A client deflected any compliments, any praise that came their way, and didn't feel deserving of it. Instead, they are self-critical, and in a deflection cycle of depreciation.

  • Disowning: You're not seeing the power that is within you to manifest and create what it is you say you want. The member of class this week chose to open their heart to someone who wasn’t available nor interested (got to look at people's actions, not what they say and this guy wants a baby with someone else). Therefore, they’re disowning the power within them to create a new relationship they’d love and is in the disowning cycle of depreciation

So why do we have moments in this state? It's not sexy, it's not empowering, it's not getting us where we would love to be, so why do we do it?

It’s a source of attachment.

Attachments are not a conscious choice, but an unwitting set-up that lands you in that old, familiar place where it feels familiar.

Deprivation is repeated in different aspects of life. Over the years you learn to tolerate it, come to expect it, and even, yes, I’m going to say, even prefer deprivation in some strange, familiar way, like a comfy blanket.

Over time, there becomes a tipping point at which you don't want to do the same behaviour anymore. And when that happens, remember this:

Energy goes where your attention and focus flows.

Once you know what’s driving your self-deprivation actions, once you’ve become aware of when you’re in a self-deprivation state, once you have cleared your charges (come to Maximum Growth classes to get some maximum guidance), then put attention and focus on what you truly want.

Here's to having more juju flow to you and through you,

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

P.S. Want a little pick me up around your meaning and purpose, to then help with getting what you want, then watch the replay of our hot session The Conversation here.

P.P.S. Feeling like you don’t want to be in this repeated self-deprivation cycle anymore and looking for a change? The Power Workshop was created to help people have a life reboot, to reconnect with your body, mind and soul, to believe in yourself and the power you have within to create an amazing life AND actually start doing it. To read more, click here.

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