Finding Inspiration In Every Turn
Below is a little more about my personal story and why I do what I do.
READ TIME: 6 minutes
There are many dots that connect my past experiences to my present-day purpose. I love seeing them fall into place and give my life and direction more meaning. I’d love to share some of those stories with you.
The Mind Can Make You Or Break You
My father was an alcoholic, which was a factor in the breakdown of my parent's marriage. The challenge of your wife walking out the door and the pain in not having us kids was too much to bear so he drank more to dull the pain out.
After another six months of drinking, his friend invited him to an AA meeting which was a turning point to do something about his life. He admitted himself into rehab, continued his journey with AA.
During the course of attending the programs, he learned that alcohol is only a band-aid (AKA plaster) for deeper issues that need to be addressed. He discovered the importance of personal growth and how it has a deep impact on all facets of life.
What he learnt from AA he came and taught me, how to be myself, how to do things that were uncomfortable but give it a go anyway, how to notice when I have something deeper at play and to work on it.
I remember vividly, I was so nervous before my year 3 school concert, My palms sweaty, almost panicking that I didn't want to get in the car to drive to school. Dad made me lay on my back on the living room floor and close my eyes. He instructed me to tense my toes and release. Tense my calves and release. And keep on going until I tensed my face I would laugh so hard when he would make a joke about what I looked like.
Ah, the instant relief. Amazing what the body can do when the mind changes its thoughts.
I'm grateful to AA for being the stepping stone for my Dad to not only heal himself but shape me to be who I am.
You Are Perfect Exactly The Way You Are
My first experience of seeing a psychologist was in my first year of primary school. I attended a program called ‘The Rainbow Kids’, a program to help children during divorce. The second was at 9, going to family counselling and then again seeing the high school counsellor in my first year of high school.
I fundamentally felt that there was something wrong with the core of my being. There must have been if needed help from so many different people. I felt broken into a thousand pieces and no one seemed to be able to heal or help me.
I attempted to end my life for the first time at 15. From then I didn’t know how to express myself, so I started cutting my body to show how I was feeling on the inside. I felt I had no control over my life or emotions, instead I restricted the amount I would eat, and had done for years.
Internally, life was becoming darker and falling onto a black never-ending whole of nothingness.
Follow Your Intuition & Seek The Light
I worked across the way from Angus and Robinson bookstore and I would take a peek at the books during my lunch breaks. I stumbled across my first book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay (which cost me 4 hours work mind you). It was the beginning of an idea that I could transform my life by thinking and living differently.
A door in my mind opened again like it did laying on the floor in my home learning to relax my body to help my mind. But it didn't open enough to stay open.
After moving out of home, I had no money, no job and found myself at the Salvation Army for basic food and necessities. I was labelled depressed by 19 and put on antidepressants for four years.
I didn't feel depressed after taking antidepressants. As you dull pain, you dull pleasure so I didn't feel happy either. I felt numb and empty.
I had moments of purpose and moments of inspiration but it was fleeting. I knew it was something I wanted, something I sought. I knew it was a feeling. Like igniting a flame that can not be extinguished. I knew I would dedicate my life to it when I found it.
But I hadn’t found it, yet.
I tried nursing for a while and realized I didn’t want to medicate people, I wanted to help them by getting to the source of the issue, psychologically, not use medication as a band-aid but help people from the inside out.
When found exercise it was definitely a game-changer for me mentally. I tried to make a career out of it but it never seemed long-term sustainable career choice. It felt more something I wanted to do for me personally, but not to make a day in day out life and business from it.
At 24 years old and started studying a Bachelor of Applied Social Science with my major in Counselling. Intuitively it felt like it was aligned. A certainty in my body, that this was something meaningful but I had no idea where the journey would take me.
And no matter how much you try, you can’t escape your destiny.
On the 6th of February 2009, my boyfriend was killed suddenly. I was beyond devastated. It left me questioning the point of life.
Nancy, a Demartini Facilitator suggested I attend the Breakthrough Experience with Dr Demartini. She said it with such certainty I had to be there.
I was in the last six weeks of my degree and studying crisis counselling. I learnt more from Dr Demartini in his 24-hour program than in the 36 months of my degree.
I found a system, a methodology that I could come to a state of gratitude and love for anything I had experienced. And if it worked for me, it could work for others.
A flame was ignited for the first time. #thegirlisonfire
There was nothing else in this world that would stop me from mastering this work and sharing it with the world. And I was prepared to dedicate myself day in day out, no matter what, to walk my spiritual path and offer my service of love to the world.
I could see the pieces of the puzzle beginning to fall into place, why my father went through AA, and how that helped set me up in my career, why I had been to see so many therapists myself and the drive I had inside to want to help and heal people.
I placed myself in a self-imposed apprenticeship. I had to test the work on myself. I had to see how much my life could change. I was reserved, hid from the world, struggled in public, volatile in relationships, lost and lacking confidence. Not to mention hating my past, I hated the choices I’d made, I hated my body. I hated most of my life.
I travelled the world for 2 years attending countless Demartini seminars. I didn’t want to have to wait for Dr Demartini to come to Australia to learn from him, (oh if only zoom was around then).
Nothing is easy. A transformation of a caterpillar as it squeezes itself out of its tight cocoon and pushes the fluid into its wings to fly takes effort. But the pain of doing the work outweighed the pain of staying the same.
I have been committed to my own personal growth since that weekend. I am the only person I know to have done, on average, a line of the Demartini Method every week for 12 years (Watch this video to explain what the Demartini Method is).
Chipping away at the work on myself, not only did I feel the transformation, from having more confidence, being more ok in the world, to the lessening of the inner critic to hearing my inner wisdom. Others also started to see me different in their eyes. Opportunities started to open up.
Pieces Of The Puzzle
I love bringing the puzzle pieces together, not only in my life but in the lives of the clients I work with. When you start to see that every moment makes sense. Every moment has meaning. And it is our job to connect the dots.
Sometimes, you start to see a blurring picture of what your purpose is, what is meaningful to you. But it is not until one or a few of the dots fall into place can you fully see it all come together.
So if you are 27 or 72, it is your job to see how your unique experiences are stepping stones to build on your life’s meaningful mission.
If you would love help uncovering your path and purpose, book in a 15-minute discovery session today.